The Girl On The Page by John Purcell

My rating: 2 of 5 stars
S P O I L E R A L E R T !

I received my uncorrected proof copy of “Girl on the Page” whilst attending the Harper Collins publishing roadshow in August of last year. I had it signed, and Purcell left the following message on the title page:

“To Ellie
A book for book lover.
John Purcell”.

Boy was this book indicative of its author’s typo. It was terrible, and I feel terrible for saying that it wasn’t good but I feel obligated to be honest when I read. I haven’t read a book this bad in such a long time and I have to say it was an interesting experience.

Why did it suck? Here are a few of the key reasons I found whilst reading:

-It boarded on being pornographic with sex overshadowing the publishing elements in the first two thirds. It was kind of gross to see the word “cock” crop up so many times and it didn’t enhance the story by being mentioned. The whole point of Amy taking on this job seemed to take a backseat to her sex-life. It was really uncomfortable reading scenes of people filming others having oral sex and getting off on it. Not what I expected to read and not at all welcome to me personally.
-It was written so clumsily. I’m hoping the final copies of the book turned out a little better because, to me, there were some phrases in the dialogue that seemed unnatural and wouldn’t be spoken the way they were in real life.
-Does Purcell believe all women are sex-crazed maniacs? People like having sex and that’s wonderful! But when it is Amy’s primary hobby (aside from binge drinking) I couldn’t help but wonder if some sort of education should have been given to Purcell…
-As mentioned previously, the dialogue was a problem for me. Characters seemed to say one thing and their movements would reflect the antithesis. For example, there is a conversation between Amy and Max that starts off with one of them vehemently rebuking the other, but then their body language conveys the exact opposite on the next page. It’s almost as if the character is entirely indecisive. Another example comes when Amy tells Liam she can’t continue their sexual relationship because they are hurting Liam’s wife: Gail. In the next page break, Amy talks about how Gail is unfairly dictating her sex-life and that she’s shit! What the hell? Make up your mind!

When the story got back on track talking about the publishing world, it was fascinating to read. I was genuinely interested in hearing about deals being forged and how specific contracts were formed. This was what prompted me to give it two stars.

Aside from that, complete drivel. I’ll be giving my copy to someone else poste-haste!

So if you have read this gem before, what were your thoughts? Did you loathe it as much as me, or am I completely crazy? Was there any elements that could have been done better? Whatever your thoughts, leave them down below.

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